Oh my god, i am defending Vampire Weekend

The guys from this terrible, terrible band have released a new video for the song "Diane Young". The video features two saab 900s burning in slow motion.

Enter super douchy car blog jalopnik to call them dicks.

In all the years of music videos, not to mention television and film production, how many countless cars have been destroyed? How many countless everythings have been destroyed?

Apparently these werent "beaters" but "much loved cars" and thats where the car dicks are offended. They gloss over the fact that even the tow truck driver called them junkers.

The worst part? In this over sensitive world we live in, where we are afraid of offending anyone, the guys in Vampire Weekend actually issued a statement in regards to this nonsense. It even included an anecdote about one of the band members having fond childhood memories of the family saab.

Sometimes i hate the world.

The m word is the new n word

In a recent issue of marvel comics' Uncanny Avengers, Alex Summers, aka Havok, stated that he, as well as the mutant community at large, no longer wanted to be called "mutants". He states that this label is divisive, and that at the end of the day we are all human, and should accept each other as such.

Wow. Good stuff. It continues the long standing history of the X-men being an analog to the struggle for equal rights by, at this point, various groups in U.S. history. The concept of "we dont want to be separate, we dont even want separate but equal, we want to be equal." This is Marvel's mutants taking a stand!

Then the internet fucking exploded.

Blog upon blog, and site upon site picked up on the story...and how it was offensive.

Wait. What?

Yes, apparently Havok's desire to be seen as equal is the most offensive thing ever!

My personal favorite quote comes from a tumblr called Off Center Fold:
     " Translation: If I am no longer
     affiliated with my minority status,
      you will accept me as one of you
     and we can all ignore that big
      reeking pile of oppression you
     heave on blacks, gays, trans* folk
      — yeah, pretty much anyone who
      isn’t Rick Remender. Because it’s
      not an entiresociety lording its
      ignorance, racism, homophobia,
     transphobia, and general lack of
     willingness to tolerate any culture
     but their misguided assumption
     of what makes an American that’s
     the problem! It’s the “M-word”s
     that minorities use to ‘alienate’
     themselves! Call me “Alex” and
     you don’t have to face that I’m a
     mutant (or gay, black, trans*, etc.)
     If you can’t tolerate the can
     because of its label, strip the
     packaging off and pretend it’s no
     different than all the other ones!"

I've been long under the impression that people did not want to be seen as their minority status. That women in the workplace did not want to be "women" in the workplace, but "co-workers" in the workplace. That an african american chef didnt want to be "the black cook" but just "that amazing chef." That the "gay" teacher just be "mr. O'leary the fucking awesome chem professor."

Have we moved into a world where people WANT to be EXCLUSIVELY identified by minority labels? How does that make anything work? How do we progress from there? In the above paragraph, the woman is still a woman, the african american still has his heritage, and mr. O'leary's (hopefully someday soon legally) husband is waiting for him at home with take out and a movie.

The people who are offended by this, are small minded people who do not know how to be anything other than the minority labels they apply to themselves. Your gender, race, orientation or really any other single aspect of you does not define the entirety of who you are. When you allow it to, you see injustice in everything, including acceptence.

Havok still has his x-gene, he is still a mutant, he just wants, when you look at him, that that not be the first thing the pops into your brain. That is what everyone has ever wanted, and now you find fault with it.

Although my opinion does not count since i am a straight white man.

Common Sense Consulting: Netflix and/or roku, here is your next move!

Roku has, more or less, taken over the streaming device market. With good reasons, 1)they pretty much invented the market, being the first to said market and 2)quality products.

Netflix is, of course, the reason roku exists. Having pretty much inventing the streaming industry.

Together they dominate the set top, non computer, viewing experience, especially for cord cutters. Where they lack is portability.

Yes, you can access netflix on your ios devices and alot of androids and all that, but what about when you are without wifi? On a plane? Or a long car trip? People now turn to dvds...probably the only real market left for physical media beyond collectors.

I give you the ROKU GO. The ROKU GO is a device akin to a portable dvd player. You can strap it to a headrest of a car, take it on the plane, or to jury duty where there sure as hell is no wifi.

Featuring a solid state hard drive, the ROKU GO, can download up to 12 hours of netflix programming to be viewed off line. Of course these would be proprietary files that can only be viewed on the ROKU GO! Thus preserving the copyright protection content owners crave. The device should also feature a usb port and a multi memory card slot, so additional non netflix video can be viewed.

The interface should be simple (a netflix icon and an "external media" icon), keeping the costs down. Speaking of costs the device should be in the $129-$179 range.

The cost of the device should be enough to cover the service additions. If not, a nominal $1-$2.00 monthly or per use charge could be assessed.

This idea is a game changer, and possibly the final nail in physical media's coffin.

Common Sense Consulting is a for profit enterprise which posts ideas from time to time as examples of its work. Please contact Matt at newyorkmcgee@gmail.com if you are interested in our work. Also if you are netflix or roku...you should write us a big ass check.

Letters from the editor vol 1:

Dear semi-professional hockey players, upright bass players, skiers,snowboarders, in a few months you lame ass cut off jean short wearing hipster surfer wannabees heading to the rockaways or coney, and extreme couponing mega shopper housewives,

I regret to inform you, on behalf of the rest of the city of new york, that your fucking suburban hobby requires you to own a fucking vehicle.

You really thought you could get through that floor to ceiling turnstyle? You think you should stand in front of the doors so you can prop your gear up against the seats?

"There's no reason to own a car in NYC!" YOU JUST BOUGHT 9 CASES OF CHEEZE ITS! AND YOU PLAY A STRING INSTRUMENT THAT IS EIGHT FEET TALL!

"I cant afford a car in nyc." Then you cant afford to play hockey or surf. You should ask daddy for a raise in your allowance.

I hope a shark eats you/you get buried in an avalanche/you get your neck broken from a cross check/you get speared by the blades of a forklift moving a skid of poptarts/you get stabbed by a violin gang.

Regards,
New York

So we're going to do this.

Movie pitches, full on rants, movie, record, tv reviews, short fiction, yknow blog stuff...thrice weekly is the hope...we'll see the reality. All from my shitty phone.